Flushing Fluff
Many empty words and phrases can be . . .

• . . . cut: all things considered, in a manner of speaking, as far as I'm concerned, in my opinion, for all intents and purposes, last but not least, for the most part, more or less, etc.

•  . . . or reduced:

  • replace at all times with always

  • replace at the present time with now

  • replace for the purpose of with for

  • replace due to the fact that with because

  • replace because of the fact that with because

  • replace by virtue of the fact that with because

  • replace in the final analysis with finally

• These empty words (and often the words around them) can be cut: area, aspect, case, element, factor, field, kind, manner, nature, situation, thing, type.

Removing Repetition
Unneeded repetition frequently takes two forms:

• Unnecessary qualification:
  • Wordy: "Many unskilled workers without training in a particular job are unemployed and do not have any work" (Aaron 66).
  • Revised: "Many unskilled workers are unemployed" (Aaron 66).
• Repetitive phrasing: circle around, important essentials, consensus of opinion, puzzling in nature, cooperate together, repeat again, final completion, return again, frank and honest exchange, square in shape, in the future to come, surrounding circumstances, prerecorded, unexpected surprise, unsolved mystery, safe haven, plan ahead, unconfirmed rumors, repetitively redundant, etc.

Simplifying Structure
To simplify sentence structure, try . . .

• . . . fashioning more direct statements:
  • Wordy: "The secretary is responsible for monitoring and balancing the budgets for travel, contract services, and personnel" (Hacker 183).
  • Revised: The secretary monitors and balances the travel, contract services, and personnel budgets.
• . . . deleting expletive constructions:
  • Wordy: "It is important that hikers remain inside park boundaries" (Hacker 183).
  • Revised: Hikers must remain inside park boundaries (Hacker 183).
• . . . reducing clauses to phrases:
  • Wordy: "The tunnel, which was drilled for twenty-three miles, runs through a bed of solid chalk that lies under the English Channel" (Aaron 67).
  • Revised: "The twenty-three mile tunnel runs through solid chalk under the English Channel" (Aaron 67).
• . . . reducing phrases to single words:
  • Wordy: "For her birthday we gave Jess a stylish vest made of silk" (Hacker 186).
  • Revised: For her birthday, we gave Jess a stylish silk vest (Hacker 186).
• . . . replacing forms of to be:
  • Wordy: If golfing is of interest to you, you can become a member of a country club.
  • Revised: If golfing interests you, join a country club.

Updated: 03.02.08